Personal accounts
"When I arrived at the refuge I felt as though my world had ended. Desperate to go back to the man who said he loved me but desperate to have some salvation for my soul.
From my first visit to the refuge in March I bounced back and forth from a very dangerous man to safety. Each time I returned I was covered in bruises. Eventually I settled there in June. I cried, shouted, drank, felt bitter and angry – my head went through a turmoil of emotions. Three months later I’m still here, I still struggle but things are getting easier.
At last I am making my own decisions … not being dictated to. I am attending college – something I would not have been allowed to do. I am liberated! I can choose my own clothes, go where I like, speak to whom I choose. I am living in peace, no more walking on eggshells.
My ex-partner is a good looking, charming, articulate, tender, loving man. He is also a serial woman beater and a very very dangerous man. My physical injuries are gone but the mental scars will take a long time to fade.
I am grateful to the Refuge and Loughborough Women’s Aid for all of their support and advice. The workers are fantastic and help you every step of the way. I may have lost my trust, house, dog, possessions but I have gained wisdom and self respect and the opportunity to rebuild my life, be re-housed and return to normality.
My advice to any sufferers of domestic violence whether it be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological or economical is to leave. No matter how much your partner pleads and begs and promises "that was the last time …. I’ll never hurt you again" He is lying …. It will happen again. If I had carried on listening I would probably be dead now. Do not suffer in silence, get in touch with the relevant agencies, confide in someone you trust, plan your escape, save a little money, pack an emergency bag and leave. Your life is the most important issue."
Written by a former resident of Loughborough Women’s Aid Refuge.
Violent Rainbow
Violent threats leading from
Intimidating gestures
Obfuscated. Confused
Love?
Each strike harder
Never ceasing
Torrential beating
Ranting, raging, relentless
Attacking. Victim in
Isolation. Bruised torso a rainbow
New scars over old
Breathing?
Over now?
Weeping.
Waterfall
Waterfall
Of tears, cascading
Descending into a river
River running red
Pools of blood
Streaming from my head
Weeping
Sinking
Drowning
Dead
The Flower
The flower she blossomed
Then the petals fell
No more intact
Only the thorns do dwell
He had picked the beautiful rose
Placing her solitary in the window
Inhaling her heady incense
Stood back and watched her grow
Still the vase it stands
Stagnant now the smell
The rose no more intact
Only the thorns do dwell
To tear and bleed at
Rose bud skin